There is a reason; I sometimes feel that blogging is such an inaccurate portrait of myself. I can't possibly be as honest as I'd be if this was a private blog, and I also feel that what I do say leaves me feeling a bit naked. As much as I've been characterized as extroverted, I feel that I've grown into some type of hermit and I don't like people looking at my things and my thoughts.
Also, I am always first. :) Is that too bold of me? I always find things first, like things first, wear it first, hear it first. OKAY! Well I'm sure someone out there has done it, said it and heard it all before me... but I say this in regards to the people I know and the places I go. And you know what? I like that I'm an innovator! I feel like the internet has allowed everyone and anyone to be what they'd like. To show whatever face they want even if it isn't their own. I don't like these masks, that blogs and facebook have been handing out. It's easy for every girl out there to be a 'model', every tween a hipster, a love sick poet, every stay at home mom a photographer, every young dude a bada** tattooed cool guy... the new cliches. Whatever is the latest trend.. So lately, it's popular to be the artist. Now everyone is an artist. I just want to shout:
"NO YOU'RE NOT"
What's wrong with being good with numbers or having a technical mind? That's good, that's brilliant!
It makes me so frustrated. Which is another reason I've stopped blogging. I don't want to be another 'Betty' who blogs about my favorite designer, singer/songwriter, my latest art project, my newest idea. I feel like they're so many imitators out there, that I simply can't stand the possibility of being lumped in there with 'em. And to all the wanna-be's just so you know, I see right through you. :) (This, however, is not to say, that I don't know some incredibly talented and artistic people. I do, and I admire them. It's also not that I find myself the most talented or artistic, I don't.)
But I've decided these reasons aren't good enough. No one can do what I do, and I'll still be painting, creating and picture taking when it's not trendy to do so... and I want my kids to see what I was like at 24 or 25 or 32. To see where I've gone, and how I thought this or that was funny.
So my next entry won't be so critical, but I'll keep each entry re-cap of sorts, until we're all caught up. I need this outlet that allows me to articulate my thoughts, because all day it's baby talk, aboo boo boo.