"My favorite pastime is letting time pass, having the time, taking my time, wasting my time, living out of time- against the current. " -Francoise Sagan

Monday, May 17, 2010


Taken by my husband Nathanael Cocian

So I had a wonderful time being pregnant. What!? No, this is half true. The first 5 months I was constantly sick and would eat cucumbers and sour candy all day and that's all. Seriously, folks- I lost about 30lbs. I also had some pretty severe sciatica issues and towards the last 4 months and I would wake up at least 4 times (yes that was the least amount) a night to use el bano. The last two weeks I'd wake up every 40 mins, my little bugger was head butting my bladder big time! Other than that though I felt beautiful! Clothes fit me wonderfully, and since I swam everyday, my skin was bronzey. I got compliments everywhere I went... it was awesome! Fast forward to postpartum, and I'm lucky if i can pluck my eyebrows.

Taken by

However, while I was pregnant I imagined the worst was to come after I had the baby. I didn't see the delivery as an end all to my 'suffering' or discomfort... I knew that once the baby was born, that's when all the hard work would start, so I milked it. I slept all the time, moisturized my skin *diligently*, swam and sun lounged, met with friends, really really took in the time I had with Nathanael. I knew that this time would pass like a blink of an eye and I would never have that time, just Nathanael and I, back again... at least not while we were both in our 20's. I was not in any hurry to have the baby and regardless of the aches and pains, I really consciously enjoyed that season of my life!

That's how I approached and survived the sleepless months after the birth of my too-cute-for-words baby. I kept reminding myself that this hard time would pass quicker than a blink of the eye, and my little baby would be a toddler, then a school aged boy, then... oh no, a teenager! During those first weeks/months I would pray that God would allow me to remember his little fingers and toes, and would help me be loving even through the exhaustion I was feeling. I wanted to appreciate this little baby, because I was literally seeing him grow before my eyes and I so badly didn't want to forget how skinny his newborn legs were, and how loud his cry was, because I was too busy feeling tired and engorged. HA! I said it!

The photos below were taken of our family when Anthony was only 6 weeks old

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